Smoke above

Well, the clash of the titans didn't produce much in the way of surprises, and we're still in danger of being blanketed by too much hot air and dust by the continuing emissions from that hotbed of calderic excitation, the national press.

Meanwhile, with the entire country a lot quieter, it's worth remembering that the last time there was a shut down of air space on a similar scale - 9/11 - global temperatures showed a slight but nonetheless measurable rise which was, apparently, all to do with the lack of jet emissions, which play a part in reflecting sunlight at high altitudes.

It's been an odd few months, in weather terms, and the trend towards these repeated spells of high pressure could mean a massive heat wave in June and July, and that would not be nice, except for Fan manufacturers and air con salesmen. Staying cool, of course, is far harder than warming up;  it's easy to slip on another pullover, or have a nice cuppa, but cooling down is a more difficult process, without resorting to cold showers and baths. 

Whatever the weather, and whether we like it or not, the political temperature's bound to rise before May and the British people, in their joint wisdom, choose the government they believe will create the least mayhem for the future. Let's hope they get it right.

Careful!

As Snowdonia claimed the life of yet another young man last night, a brief walk on the Great Orme yesterday served to illustrate just how fortunate we are that there aren't many more serious accidents. 

Yesterdays cool but fine weather afforded a wonderful opportunity for walking, so we took full advantage.  Parking in Hafod y Mor, opposite the Headlands' Hotel, the walk was up the road leading to the Ski slope, across at the base of the slope then up the steps to the top. 

Despite a haze, the views from the top were good, and strolling to the cliff top immediately above the toll road meant it was possible to gaze at the pier from a God-like perspective, search for those intrusive but elusive wind turbines, consider how we would change the world with a wave of the arms and watch the antics of other walkers.

When the excited cries of a young child drew notice, it was possible to see that a mother and 4 or 5 year old had positioned themselves very close to the edge of a pretty sheer rock-wall face.  The mother was shouting at the child to behave, but the child was still perilously close to the edge. Eventually, both moved off, but from that single example it was easy to see how folk can be lulled into a sense of false security by the imperceptible merging of man-made and fenced walkways into a wild country setting.

Both the Ormes are magnificent, wild, dangerous and unpredictable, but there are a lot of city dwellers whose experience of and preparation for this sort of terrain is inadequate, given the potential for disaster.  As the season progresses, it's almost inevitable that there will be an accident on one of the Ormes, and the question that will be raised is how much should the country park or Mostyn's do to warn people that there are dangers.  The amusing sign on Conwy mountain which informs you that you're approaching a steep drop, moments before the mountain drops - almost vertically - into a caravan park about 800 feet below seems incongruous, but perhaps what we need is better education for the visitor, with pamphlets in each hotel at the season's start.

Even then, there will be some who will call for the Ormes to be fully fenced, and that would be an aesthetic disaster. We need danger in our lives and we need to learn how to manage risk;  it's part of life and growing. But perhaps we also need to warn visitors that babies don't bounce - especially from 200 feet up.

An improbable fiction

It's good news that Theatr Colwyn is getting a much-needed revamp.  Theatre and entertainment, music and singing are essential components in the fabric of any community or society and Theatr Colwyn has seen a lot in the past.  About 20 years ago, the World Harmonica Championships were held there, so the place is no stranger to important events. The Arts Council provides with unimaginable largess for London opera-goers, yet comparatively little - if at all - for the bedrock of the theatrical industry - the provincial theatre. This sort of fiscal snobbery misses several points, but the important one is that talent doesn't recognise social class or wealth.  Some of our best entertainers - true geniuses - hail from North of the M25, yet the big government quangos seem to be remarkably myopic when it comes to funding the very operations that would bring these geniuses to a wider audience.

Too much is often invested in the capabilities of the individual manger, also; ITV's unbelievable stupidity in cancelling Foyle's War some years ago and Greg Dyson's instant re-scheduling of Neighbours to suit his daughter's school are just two examples. Perhaps it's time we had just a little more accountability in the entertainment industry - and a few more comedians that were actually funny.

Values

Last night on Countryfile, the 'regular' farmer, who makes a weekly appearance, was shown delivering lambs and bottle feeding some of the rejected.  He made an interesting observation whilst so doing. He said 'Bottle feeding lambs, given the cost of dried milk and the time it takes, doesn't add up economically.'

Although the comment was made almost as an aside, those younger viewers who heard it might still be somewhat mortified.

Yet at lambing time, it's easy to forget the farming is an industry and not an extension to a Disney theme park.  Farmers in North Wales work mighty hard and have to take tough decisions. 

But where do we draw the line? Every year, the Great Orme goats hit the headlines, usually because - lacking natural predators - they reproduce too quickly and to an unsustainable level.  Every summer, also, a young or old goat will get stuck on a ledge, prompting an avalanche of calls from concerned tourists. §yet do we do these animals any favours by rescuing them and thus ensuring the older and weaker genetic traits get passed down through the generations? It's easy  - and fashionable - to condemn those who believe in non interference with the natural processes, but perhaps sensible thought should be given to how best to deal with wild animals who have to survive, even if only on the Orme.

Nature, after all, has been dealing with this for millions of years.

Aha, Jim lad!

At 108, Okushima takes to the floor for traditional Japanese dances. She was born when Japan had only recently seen off the shogun warlords. If an ageing population is on the way, she is not a bad advert for what we have in store.

In 1984, Japan had the youngest population in the developed world, but by 2005 it had become the world's most elderly country. Soon it will become the first country where most people are over 50 years old.

The fertility rate in Japan is just 1.2 children per woman, far lower than the 2.1 needed to maintain a steady population. And they're not alone. In 19 countries, from Singapore to Iceland, people have a life expectancy of about 80 years. Of all the people in human history who ever reached the age of 65, half are alive now. Meanwhile, women around the world have half as many children as their mothers. And if Japan is the model, their daughters may have half as many as they do. In just a generation, world fertility has halved to just 2.6 babies per woman. In most of Europe and much of east Asia, fertility is closer to one child per woman than two, way below long-term replacement levels. The notion that the populations of places such as Brazil and India will go on expanding looks misplaced: in fact, they could soon be contracting.

The long term implications are significant, because we're acquiring a population of older, very experienced, intelligent people who have time on their hands and a desire to fill that time with productive but non-stressful occupations.  Thus we have ex-Police superintendents stacking shelves at Tesco, ex-senior social work managers selling boots and shoes, ex-lecturers serving coffee and ex-nuclear physicists looking after trees. These people comprise an enormous resource for the country in terms of skills, knowledge and experience, and it will be interesting to see which of the main parties promises to use that resource for the UK.

Spring has sprung

This being the first weekend in a long time that the central heating can safely be turned off, the sheep are mainly white through their coat colour, instead of snow and rabbits are  escaping their burrows without the aid of an ice breaker, it's probably safe to assume that Spring has arrived.

With the advent of spring come all manner of delightful distractions; flowers competing desperately to attract the attention of any passing bees, an increase in white tails bobbing madly as young rabbits realise there's someone coming across the field, tiny lambs and not-so-tiny lambs pushing exhausted mothers into a hedge as they try to get an early breakfast and the appearance of hedgerow birds and flowers.

In town, you can almost smell the impending Extravaganza, and this year's event will be massive, as always, competing only briefly with the Colwyn Bay Prom Day.

Like it or loathe it, the Extravaganza is organised entirely by volunteers, and it takes roughly a year to plan. The event costs a lot to mount and in all fairness it does a lot for the town, kick-starting the season like no other event. If you feel you can do better, or if you simply want to get involved, the committee will welcome your interest.

This year, the organisers face the headache posed by the continued closure of the Maesdu Bridge, which will restrict traffic to only one entrance route to the town across the weekend. But if you don't like crowds, and would prefer a quieter, more relaxing activity venue, then you could do worse than try  the brand new pitch and putt course, pioneered by a member of the Llandudno Local forum.

Finally, don't forget the wonderfully quiet, scenic cafe on the Great Orme Marine Drive, where you can chill out (often literally), enjoy a legendary tea cake and watch the sea-world go by.

Big Bother

As the greatest of reality shows gets under way, it's mildly absorbing fun to ponder which of the contestants will win. Will it be the older bloke, with the boring voice and the funny mannerism when he's talking, a twitch which serves to distract at least this observer, or will it be one of the two younger blokes; the smooth-talking smarmie, who seems short on facts but makes for great watching or the little chap who is telling us all how he wants to change the world?

Of course, we're really all waiting for the Challenges.  Things haven't really warmed up as of yet, but a few soakings, egg-throwings, walking on thin planks in funny costumes and singing in a mud-pool and we'll all enjoy the entire process much more.

And given the ubiquity of the internet, bloggers, facebook, forums and iPhones, we may also see contestants gaining votes for helping their fans, irrespective of party affiliations.  Which is really how it ought to be.

This is also a wonderful opportunity for Plaid, a group whose power base is expanding because they are genuinely so good at helping their constituents.  And perhaps we could do worse than follow the US model, with individual States being able to legislate on almost anything, but federal control being retained by the White House.

Sniff...

It's a curious thing about politics and politicians, but they seem to come with an instant 'disbelivability' tag.  The expenses scandal last year should have changed the political landscape for ever, but listening to the main party leaders it seems as though very little has changed.

It becomes increasingly difficult to accept their assurances and lack of courage and honesty. A simple illustration is drugs.  The drug advisory council is now all but bereft of the scientists  - the people who take decisions based on evidence and fact - and the council might now just as well be a political department.  Most people in the UK would probably support the legalisation of certain drugs, but which party would have the courage to say that in an election manifesto? 

Maybe we really do get the politicians we deserve.

Schooled to succeed

North Wales Tourism's chairman Chris Jackson, who is also the Welsh Mountain Zoo’s administrative director in Upper Colwyn Bay, said: “The feeling generally is that it has been a below par Easter to date, that’s largely due to the weather. But the English schools still have the best part of two weeks on holiday so there is still hope that we can get something back from visitors.”

The Liverpool and Manchester education authorities started the 'official' Easter break on Monday, and don't return until Monday 19th, so there's time for the visitor numbers to pick up in what is a crucial period of the year for our tourist-related businesses.

The Easter break is a mixed blessing for most comprehensive schools;  few outside of the school world realise that many bring in their A level and GCSE students for revision, extra work and tuition, all in the teachers' own time. Eirias - to give one example - has always run a full timetable for students during the Easter break, which can be invaluable, as a concentrated period of working - free from the distractions of school bells, lesson changes and those who simply don't want to work - can make the difference between an A and a B grade in the results.  Those who condemn the education system would do well to remember that it's because of the selfless effort of so many local teachers that our schools locally are among the best in the country and - in the case of Eirias - the best in the UK.

Jam today

Welcome to Sunny Llandudno!  And enjoy a leisurely drive home, as you stare out of the window at miles of cones, queues and frustrated motorists.

As anticipated, the merry japes of the Highways chappies ensured more than a leisurely drive home for those stuck in a six mile tailback at Abergele on Monday.

The ever helpful but rather unaware Denbighshire County Council deputy leader Eryl Williams said the roadworks were needed to repair the bridge, damaged by a lorry.

He said: “It was a major reconstruction over months, not just this weekend. I sympathise with drivers but they could have researched many other good, countryside routes.”

That would be the A5, then? Assuming anyone can extract themselves from Llandudno, since there's only one route in and out until the ephemeral working crews at the Maesdu disaster area reappear, both the A470 which they'd have to take, and the A5 are not known for being the easiest to drive. Or perhaps he means any of the multitudinous back roads, replete with their merry little pothole collections, tractors, wandering sheep and single track widths. What a scoundrel he is!

An even more helpful  Welsh Assembly Government spokesman said: “One lane was closed over the bank holiday weekend while we undertook essential safety works to the bridge parapets. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause, and hope to reopen it on Wednesday.”

Ah.  But did they close it because it was a bank holiday? You have to wonder if they have a calendar in their offices, which outlines bank holidays and they simply assume that's the best time to close carriageways, without using their brains to consider whether that's also the best time to make everyone navigating the horrendous mess think very carefully about ever visiting Llandudno and other holiday resorts again.

Of maybe someone in the WAG is a '50s buff, and simply wants to give everyone the chance to re-live the halcyon days of that decade, when only a single carriageway connected North Wales to Manchester and Liverpool.

Never mind;  two more bank holidays coming up, so they'll be able to plan carefully which major routes to shut down then, so they can create even longer tailbacks.  Ooh, aren't they awful?

Holiday fun!

Being a bank holiday, and thus a day on which - by definition - no news occurs, the mind turns to thoughts of…just about anything, really. Like why Einstein's brain was smaller than average, or how hard it is to recreate a trough-led Tsunami in a laboratory, why hot water freezes faster than cold or why the WAG makes it so hard to find a set of plans for a new road that's being built just North of Llanwrst, the first warning of which was a sign blandly informing us all that "work starts here for 48 weeks on 25th April", which will bring cheer to the hearts of all those who seek to make a living out of the tourist market in Llanrwst and Betws.

Being a coastal community (as, in a sense, the entire UK is) we're much preoccupied with thoughts of water, Piers, solitons and visitors, but we do sometimes forget that tourists are a vital component of the fiscal circle of life, particularly when they're driving a twenty year old car at 30 mph in the middle of the A470.

But hey! The weather's slated to stop raining - eventually - and it might even become a tad warmer.  And then we'll all be able to moan about heat waves, flies, global warming and the state of the roads. Happy Holidays,,,

Egged on

There's a curious but growing tradition that seems to be to wish folk "Happy Easter!", although there's as yet no exchange of presents, nor the greeting "Merry Easter!", which sounds even odder.

Easter was known as Ēostre in Anglo Saxon, which is presumably where Oestrogen makes its appearance, and was - like all religious festivals - itself a conversion of a pagan festival which preceded it.

Notwithstanding all this erudition, it's safe to say that most people enjoy easter eggs, think the whole thing is no yolk, adopt a thick-shelled attitude to all the ribaldry and hope for the weather to stay fine.

Happy Ēostre!

That's a wrap

You might not notice, but yet another film has been made in Snowdonia - this time the remake of Clash of the Titans.  The Daily Post erroneously reports that

not since Pierce Brosnan’s 007 used Snowdon as a stand-in for the Hindu Kush mountains in Afghanistan has Wales’ foremost peak and surroundings played such a vital role in a major film

but in fact Snowdonia plays host to film makers of every persuasion on a regular basis. The Great Orme itself was used three times last year alone for shooting both feature films and adverts (watch the Landrover ad that uses the postcard motif carefully), the uninspiring Prince Valiant was shot in Gwyrch (Abergele) Castle, Willow in Betws Y Coed and an episode of Hetty Wainthrop  in Penryhn beach and Bryn Elian School, and those are only some examples of the filming that takes place on a regular basis.  Local suppliers make props, such as Daunts, although these are often unseen, since the heroes have to set forth, dauntless…

The weather in Snowdonia can be tricky, as we know, but it's a testament to just how scenic the area is that so many film-makers make the trek here and eschew the more usual locations. Many years ago, Carry on up the Khyber was made in Porthmadog when extras were paid ten bob each per day. Film making is very good for the area in many ways, and we can always look forward to a film about CCBC and its work. Possible titles could include "From here to Eternity" ,"Lord of the Rungs" or "We did it our way".   Tickets, anyone?

They're late

Yesterday's April fool announcement on this blog about CCBC's plans for Happy Valley seems to have struck a chord, possibly because this sort of thing is becoming an all too familiar pattern for CCBC.  In fact, we probably need a new county motto for CCBC: "Decimate not Innovate".

That aside, the Easter weekend promises the usual traffic chaos on the A55, although the main problem is on the East bound carriageway, so at least visitors will make it here fairly easily.

Providing the weather behaves itself, we can look forward to the start of another season, and we can hope that this year sees some real ideas and progress in respect of Happy Valley - a wonderful site that has been allowed to deteriorate beyond recognition.  We allowed sheer stupidity and greed to lead to the incredible loss of the Penmorfa and we mustn't repeat it, although all might not be lost.  Ten years ago, the Times wrote

Thanks to the survival of two of the holiday homes of Alice Liddell, the child who inspired the Alice books, Llandudno has long been the world centre of Mad Hatters, March Hares and Mock Turtles

In 2012 we celebrate the 150th anniversary of the writing of Through the Looking Glass and it would be innovative indeed if something could be created for the same year we're expected to host the Olympics to remind visitors that Llandudno's more than just a seaside town.  Although avarice saw the demolition of the house itself, the outline and foundations remain and could be rebuilt. Arguably,  a new Alice attraction could be created as a walk-through experience in some of the larger houses nearby as they come up for sale. The old joke 'Nostalgia's not what it used to be' couldn't be more wrong;  nostalgia's a bigger incentive for visitors now than ever, thanks to the ubiquity and availability of information.  And creation of something along the lines suggested could be a wonderful and lasting legacy. And the irony of CCBC caring about Alice in Wonderland shouldn't be lost...

Sad times

From inside sources, we can reveal that CCBC have plans in hand to remodel Happy Valley and the gardens in a major cost-cutting exercise. The overall plan is to remove a lot of the terracing in the gardens, along with most of the plants and trees, and lawn the entire area, so that the current amphitheatre modelling will be continued right up the ski slope. In effect, the whole of Happy Valley and the old outdoor theatre will become a grassy hillock, bereft of trees, plants and  interest for visitors. This plan, however, has been quietly slipped through to anticipate the furore that might erupt if the plans to concrete the decaying Haulfre Gardens become a reality.

That's bigamy

Judge John Rogers QC imposed a nine-month prison sentence and said: “A prison sentence is inevitable for an offence of bigamy."

It might seem strange, but our statute book still retains some of the most obsolete, quaintest and oddest crimes imaginable.

We all know, of course, the hoary old tales that in the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle but did you know that a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.

Other bizarre laws include taxis, and it's illegal to put rabid dogs or corpses in a  London taxi or to flag down a taxi if you have the plague, which is worth remembering ,if the weather's that bit warmer.

Among the many illegalities our MPs perpetrate, it's worth noting that it's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament and an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.

Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.

Two interesting laws about the Scots and Welsh include Welshmen being banned from entering Chester before sunrise and from staying after sunset and legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

However, compared with some parts of the world we have it easy. Most adolescent boys should avoid Indonesia, where the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

Perhaps it's time we asked the political candidates if they're going to reform the laws of the UK to bring them into line with the 21st century. And while we're at it, if Wales gains full independence perhaps we could adopt a constitution that would guarantee us the right to bear arms. Just a .44 Magnum would do.




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To boldly go

Politics can be depressingly like football. Both seem to encourage polarisation, both seem to acquire supporters who delight in the yobbish behaviour so decried by all political parties and football supporters (so who does it, then?) and both seem to work towards the lowest common denominator in terms of message.

It doesn't have to be like that, of course, as last night's debate between Cable, Osbourne and Darling demonstrated, but the simple fact is that most people who unreservedly support a political party do so without using their brains.  It's easy, after all, to re-print swathes of the Daily Torygraph, or masses from any right-wing publication and swallow it hook, line and sinker (to escape from the unremitting football analogies for a moment) but real life isn't like that.  The fact is that whomever wins the next General Election is going to do broadly similar things: increase taxes, cut back services and make most people poorer.  Why? Because the UK can't simply do its own thing any more. We're in thrall to the very people who're responsible for the mess we're in - the Banks. 

And as if that wasn't depressing enough, the EU has multiple conditions to ensure we don't go our own merry way, no matter how much politicians like the egregious Osborne would have us believe they can. Anyone who says otherwise is sadly uninformed.

But for light relief,  Star Trek aficionados might be interested in the current trend of matching a character from the Next Generation & ST:DS9 to our current contenders.

Thus far, Brown is matched with Worf, while Cameron is matched with Data.  Neither is a flattering comparison, so feel free to contribute any ideas you might have. 

Per ardua ad asda, as they say in Basingstoke...

Slaving away...

This is bound to be an interesting time for us, locally.  As we await further details about the fascinating events of Friday at CCBC, the comment made about slavery being a way forward is worth considering.

Ancient Rome had (broadly) three categories of population: citizens, non-citizens and slaves. As with any society, it was more complex in reality, and the struggles that took place between the wealthy landowners (Patricians) and the rest of the citizens (Plebians) echo British Airway's problems quite eerily.

But perhaps the ancient Romans had something, when they made the position of Citizen something to which you had to aspire. And reintroducing slavery - a status which could be meted out to offenders in the same way as prison sentences or community service orders are now - could have an interesting effect.  It would - at a stroke - cut down on prison building, provide plenty of fresh air and exercise for the former inmates, and - best of all - those who paid their due to society in full, by completing their tenure as a slave - would be awarded full citizen status.

And, of course, the ultimate spin-off would be the reintroduction of the games - gladiatorial, naturally.   Think what Simon Cowell would pay for that.

Pardon?

"THE SENIOR official of a North Wales council has been temporarily suspended during a police investigation.
Byron Davies, chief executive of Conwy County Borough Council, has been relieved of his duties "temporarily" the authority said on Friday.
The council said: "A complaint has been made to North Wales Police against Byron Davies, Chief Executive of Conwy County Borough Council.
"He is currently understood to be assisting the Police and has been relieved of his duties with the council temporarily."

Mea Culpa

Well, just about the only things of any direct importance to emerge from Darling's speech yesterday were potholes.  Which is a tad ironic, since they don't actually emerge.

But why 'potholes'?  One source suggests that our ancestors were constantly patching roads. In fact, it's suggested the first potholes date back to Roman times, when potters dug up hunks from the clay roads - hence the name.

Which might work, if Romans had used clay.  But they didn't.  The term 'pot-hole' in the sense of "a deep hole of more or less cylindrical shape" was in use in 1826 by geologists and civil engineers to describe naturally-occurring holes, which were thought to be the result of water action. The holes in question were actually effects of glaciation. By 1878, the word was sometimes written without the hyphen.

In 1898, an author in the Archaeological Journal used "pot-hole" in the sense claimed above:

"That the manufacture of pottery was carried on in Haying in former times is shown by the existence of 'pot-holes', i.e. holes from which clay has been taken."

However, this has nothing to do with defects in the surface of a road. The use of 'pot-hole' to describe bad roads is given in a news item from 1909, which complains that "artificial watering and constant scavenging" are ruining the local macadam roads. But macadam roads are made of crushed stone and cement.

Roman roads, like macadam roads, were made primarily of stone rather than clay. Here's a description of the canonical Roman road from the Encyclopedia Britannica:

In its highest stage of development the Appian Way was constructed by excavating parallel trenches about 40 feet (12 metres) apart to mark its exact location and to indicate the nature of the subsoil. The foundation was then covered with a light bedding of sand or mortar on which four main courses were constructed; (1) a statumen layer of large flat stones 10 to 24 inches (250-600 millimetres) in thickness; (2) a rudus course of smaller stones mixed with lime about 9 inches (225 millimetres) thick; (3) the nucleus layer, about one foot (300 millimetres) thick, consisting of small gravel and coarse sand mixed with hot lime; and (4) on this fresh mortar a summa crusta, or wearing surface, of flint-like lava about six inches (150 millimetres) deep.

But the Romans had two big advantages over us when it came to building and maintaining roads: they built them straight - mainly because chariots initially had trouble turning corners, the Romans having not quite cottoned on to the idea of a differential, but also because it made getting to the next country to conquer quicker.

The second advantage they had was slaves.  And it's here where Darling missed a trick.  Reintroducing slavery would save us a packet.  We could use long term prisoners, who would enjoy the day out, working in the fresh air, getting plenty of exercise, or simply designate a nearby nation - perhaps the French - as slaves. And he could be reasonably sure no other party would come up with that idea.

Mea Culpa, as they say in Rome….