Saturday 14 November 2009

Getting the Boots...

Wandered into that palace of medicinal opulence called Boots to pick up some Ibruprofen yesterday and -  simply out of curiosity - decided to read the leaflet they package with the stuff.

And a fascinating browse it proved. So here, dear readers, is the full monty on what you risk if you take Ibuprofen from Boots.

After the usual dosage instructions, which tend to adopt the 'we know much better than you and you're a dope anyway' approach, they come on to the interesting bit.  'Possible side effects.'  These, the author has decided, should be divided into two categories: Serious and Less Serious. All good thus far.

The serious are as you might expect - stomach ulceration issues, the usual rash of gastro-intestinal delights, such as bloody diarrhoea, miscellaneous swellings and meningitis, all of which combine to leave you rather queasily wondering whether you'll survive long enough to die. But it's the Less serious category which provides the real fun-factor.

Under Less Serious side effects are listed such minor conditions as Heart Failure, kidney failure and death, with the warning that should any of these become severe, talk to a pharmacist.  Hmm.  On what subject, I wonder?

You can picture the scene: as you suffer a massive coronary, abetted by rapidly developing kidney failure, you somehow manage to drag yourself into the local Boots, where you collapse on the floor, and mutter "Nice weather we're having," to the pharmacist before expiring on the spot.

They then helpfully provide a detailed list of the tablets' constituents, which doubtless proves invaluable reading to anyone who's  gained a Nobel Prize in Biochemistry, or who happens to have several copies of the Pharmacopeia to hand. 

Of course, it's easy to ridicule something as daft as this;  we all know that this sort of leaflet represents the results of the fundamental shift away from blind acquiescence to the GP or Pharmacist and the increasingly litigious nature of our society. But the damage that such over-compensation and over-caution can do was well shown during the shameful MMR episode, yet our society continues on its cradle-to-grave approach to any sort of risky venture. Perhaps it's time we allowed people to make more of their own decisions, not fewer.

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