The flame wars...

As the internet expands, and the wise and foolish seek to make their fortune investing in forums and blogs, it's worthwhile taking a few moments to see what happens when personalities become inextricably involved with policies.

One great advantage of the internet forum or blog is the ability to enjoy debating and discussing. Most of us enjoy chatting about the slings and arrows life chucks our way, and the internet can be a great place to do it. Unfortunately, when the forum or blog is a very local affair, inevitably personalities become involved in the debate, and then things can turn ugly. This isn't news, of course; we've all known for a long time that the two subjects you should never bring up in a pub are religion or politics. The first, because religion is an intensely personal thing, which no one can prove or disprove and because its adherents rely purely on faith and the second because...er, well, the same, I suppose.

Recently, three local blogs and one local forum have been engaged in a spat, with a lot of unpleasantness in the fall-out. Now you may wonder why we're commenting on this. There's a simple reason.

The internet forum is almost certainly one of the best tools the internet has spawned for idea exchange. A good, well-run forum has a lively, engaging and welcoming community, which collectively seeks to debate, socialise, swap suggestions, help and mutually support its members. It's a real-person community, whose common affiliation is the computer and, secondly, technology as embodied by the internet. Over the past twelve years, forums have mushroomed and died, and - after that time spent working as part of this phenomenon - it's possible to identify the golden rules for a good online community or internet forum.

The first - and arguably the most important - is never, ever let debates degenerate into insults. The internet has more than its fair share of odd-balls, weirdoes, creeps, bullies, cyber-thugs, opportunists, liars, cheats and even some not-so-nice people, and at the first sign that a personality is making a stand on anything, the assembled forces of darkness will delight in launching their intercontinental ballistic abuses at their intended target.

Dodging this can be problematic, but not impossible. In fact, as more and more folk succumb to the lure of the internet forum, it becomes essential to provide a medium in which normal intelligent and caring people can feel comfortable.

But debating and discussing is what the internet is particularly good for, so how do we avoid the very situations that are currently erupting locally?

Professor Roger Fisher, Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, has some suggestions. Here's the list:

• Don't argue over positions. A position is where the debater stands in an argument.
• Separate people from the problem. You can sometimes help with a problem but you can't do anything about the person, so it simply degenerates into a slanging match.
• Focus on interests as opposed to positions. The latter is inflexible but the former can provide common ground
• Use objective criteria; stay fair and balanced.
• Explore options that can lead to mutual gain

If you read that carefully, and you're a parent of many years, you may find it strikes a chord. Interestingly, it bears a striking similarity to advice in a course book provided for therapists working with disturbed adolescents. Hmmm.

The best forums also need more; they need an outstanding team of administrators, with mature and sympathetic personalities, a high degree of intelligence and - above all - well developed empathy. The worst forums have owners and administrators who join in the slanging. And that's a recipe for disaster.