CCBC have decided to bring in a firm of consultants, this time costing £100k, to devise plans for the regeneration of Colwyn Bay, presumably because their somewhat ham-fisted attempts to sneakily buy property at several times the market price have come unstuck.
CCBC's track record on the regeneration proposals thus far is - to be kind - rather unimpressive, but you can't fault them for trying. They're extremely trying, in fact. However, as Llandudno learnt in the '90s (and at other times) simply spending money on consultants doesn't guarantee success in the eventual endeavour. In fact, it's probably about time that at least some of the regeneration grant was spent on the Councillors themselves or - to be more precise - on their education. To start the ball rolling, we present the
Carneades Academy of Local Councils, Intellectual Understanding & Motivation.
The Syllabus:
Understanding Consultancy, modern management and life in general 101.
Things you should know about consultants:
- All too many consultants, when asked, 'What is 1 and 1?' respond, 'What do you have in mind?'
- I'm Not Unemployed - I'm a Consultant”
- My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions
- A consultant is someone who takes your watch away to tell you what time it is.
A2. The pareto principle (pareto's 80/20 law)
Pareto's Law states that within any given scenario or system or organisation:
* 80 percent of results come from 20 percent of efforts
* 80 percent of activity will require 20 percent of resources
* 80 percent of usage is by 20 percent of users
* 80 percent of the difficulty in achieving something lies in 20 percent of the challenge
* 80 percent of revenue comes from 20 percent of customers
* 80 percent of problems come from 20 percent of causes
* 80 percent of profit comes from 20 percent of the product range
* 80 percent of complaints come from 20 percent of customers
* 80 percent of sales will come from 20 percent of sales people
* 80 percent of corporate pollution comes from 20 percent of corporations
* 80 percent of work absence is due to 20 percent of staff
* 80 percent of road traffic accidents are cause by 20 percent of drivers
* 80 percent of a restaurant's turnover comes from 20 percent of its menu
A3. Parkinson's law
"Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." (Cyril Northcote Parkinson, 909-99, English political scientist, historian and writer, from his book, Parkinson's Law - The Pursuit of Progress, written in 1957.)
The fuller version states:
Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion, and subordinates multiply at a fixed rate, regardless of the amount of work produced.."
Expenditure rises to meet income.
The man who is denied the opportunity of taking decisions of importance begins to regard as important the decisions he is allowed to take.
A4. The Peter principle
In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence" (Dr Laurence Peter, The Peter Principle, written by Dr Peter and Raymond Hull)
Far from being an indictment of people, Laurence Peter's ideas were mostly focused on the weaknesses of typical organisations, and the threat that they present to the well-being of their people.
Laurence Peter and Raymond Hull's 969 book The Peter Principle is a study of hierarchies (Peter coined the scientific term 'hierarchiology') and how people behave within them in relation to promotion and competence. Laurence Peter also asserted that, "Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence", although he places the blame on organisations, not employees, and urges people to prioritise their health and happiness rather than struggle to meet the unhealthy demands of a promotion-too-far, in an uncaring hierarchy.
Laurence Peter observed that bosses who are competent in their roles tend to assess employees according to their output and results, whereas incompetent bosses tend to assess employees according to their input and adherence to rules and policies, etc. This remains a feature of poorly managed organisations and hierarchies.
Peter also suggested that 'super-competence' in an employee is more likely to result in dismissal than promotion, which again is a feature of poor organisations, which cannot handle the disruption. A super-competent employee "...violates the first commandment of hierarchical life: [namely that] the hierarchy must be preserved.." which again is symptomatic of poorly run modern organisations, just as it was back in the 960's.
A5. Tribal wisdom
According to legend and the customary presentation of this item, the tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in local government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as
Re-structuring the dead horse's reward scale to contain a performance-related element (obviously..)
Suspending the horse's access to the executive grassy meadow until it improves its attitude and makes good all productivity shortfalls.
Finding a mentor or buddy for the dead horse.
Examining the cost-savings accruing from de-skilling the dead horse function.
Denying the existence of the dead horse, until the story appears in the Drudge Report, upon which release ready-made PR featuring the dead horse 'in action', thus totally fooling everyone who thought the horse was dead (but it still is of course).
Re-aligning the organizational aims to better fit the needs of the dead horse
Outsourcing the management and/or the riding of the dead horse to a specialist dead horse management company
Bringing in a team of expensive external consultants to focus on dead horse optimisation.
Re-branding the dead horse a 'Fair Trade Horse', and affixing prominent Fair Trade insignia to its hind-quarters.
Scrutinsing and challenging the dead horse's expenses claims, and leaking baseless related accusations to the media and the dead horse transparency unit.
Asking Richard Branson if he'd be interested in running a Virgin Dead Horse joint venture.
Setting up an inquiry into the dead horse, preferably headed by a dead horse and answerable to other dead horses.
Forming a task force to investigate the dead horse's positive benefits on social enterprise.
Blaming the dead horse on the sub-prime credit crunch, thereby absolving (and enabling the obscenely generous rewarding of) those responsible for the decision to recruit an emaciated horse, starve it, and keep it in a frozen field (because the stables were sold to property developers years ago).
Unmasking the dead horse to be in illegal immigrant, therefore author of its own misfortune, and to blame for a lot more than simply being dead on the job.
Off-shoring the stabling and veterinary support of the dead horse to somewhere in the Indian sub-continent.
Sending the dead horse on an outward bound or log-carrying weekend with other dead horses.
Lobbying ministers and pressure groups for the extension of European standards to encompass the special qualities of dead horses.
Making the dead horse redundant, giving it a hefty golden hoof-shake, and then retaining it as consultant at five times its previous annual cost.
If the above depresses, then we'll finish on a brighter note...
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?... Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do... It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
(Marianne Williamson, author, from A Return To Love, 1899.)
