The cause of or cure for cancer: trust the DFM

For those lured into reading that travesty of a comic, the DFM, here's a list, together with links, of all the things the Daily Mail says can give you cancer, defeat cancer or - in some cases - both:   

AGE
    AIR POLLUTION
    AIR TRAVEL
    ALCOHOL
    ALLERGIES
    ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS
    ARTIFICIAL LIGHT
    ASBESTOS
    ASPIRIN

    BABIES
    BABY BOTTLES
    BABY FOOD
    BACON
    BARBEQUES
    BEEF
    BEER
    BEING A BLACK PERSON h
    BEING A WOMAN
    BEING A MAN
    BEING SOUTHERN
    BISCUITS
    BRAS
    BREAD
    BREAST FEEDING
    BREAST IMPLANTS
    BROKEN HEARTS
    BUBBLE BATH
    BURGERS
 
    CAFFINE
    CALCUIM
    CANDLE-LIT DINNERS
    CANNED FOOD
    CARBOHYDRATES
    CARS
    CEREAL
    CHEESE
    CHICKEN
    CHILDLESSNESS
    CHILDREN
    CHILDREN’S FOOD
    CHILLIS
    CHINESE MEDICINE
    CHIPS
    CHLORINE
    CHOCOLATE
    CITY LIVING
    CLIMATE CHANGE
    COCA COLA
    COD LIVER OIL
    COFFEE
    CONSTIPATION
    CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS
    COOKING
    CORDLESS PHONES
    CRAYONS
    CURRY

    DEODRANT
    DIETING
    DOGS
    EGGS
    ELECTRICITY
    ENGLISH BREAKFAST

    FACEBOOK
    FALSE NAILS
    FATHERHOOD
    FIBRE
    FISH
    FLIP FLOPS
    FLY SPRAY
    FRUIT

    GARDENS
    GRAPEFRUIT

    HAIR DYE
    HAM
    HEIGHT
    HONEY
    HOT DRINKS
    HRT

    INTERNET
    IVF

    KIDNEY TRANSPLANTS

    LAMB
    LARGE HEADS
    LEFT-HANDEDNESS
    LIPSTICK
    LIVER TRANSPLANTS

    MENOPAUSE
    MENSTRUATION
    METAL
    MILK
    MOBILE PHONES
    MODERN LIVING
    MONEY
    MORPHINE
    MOUTHWASH

    NUCLEAR POWER (there is no hint of irony in this article)

    OBESITY
    OESTROGEN
    OLDER FATHERs 

    PASTRY
    PEANUT BUTTER
    PERFUME
    PICKLES
    PIZZA
    PLASTIC BAGS
    PORK
    POTATOES
    POVERTY
    PREGNANCY

    RADIOACTIVITY (again, just no irony whatsoever)
    RICE
    SAUSAGES
    RETIREMENT 

    SEX
    SHAVING
    SKIING
    SOUP
    SPACE TRAVEL
    SUN CREAM 

    TALCUM POWDER
    TEA
    TEEN SEX
 
    VITAMINS 

    WATER
    WI-FI
    WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE
    WORKING 

    X-RAYS 

For some odd reason, they haven't included 'Reading the Daily Mail'....