Classified (but as what?)

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.  Hateful little bugger.  Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog .. . able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG..
Looks like a rat.  Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES:  NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE ...
Worn once by mistake.  Call Stephanie.

FOR  SALE BY LADY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.  Excellent condition. No longer needed, Got married last month.  Husband knows f *****g everything.