Another report, anyone?

The results of a doubtless extremely expensive and 'radical' survey into the sometimes parlous state of the North Wales coast are in and contain a number of truly astonishing suggestions, never before made.  These include

 - landscaping and screening off caravan parks to “reduce their visual impact”
- a new waterside experience and destination focused around Rhyl’s former funfair site at Ocean Beach and Foryd Harbour
- Colwyn Bay’s Eirias Park becoming a major focus for events
- A new focus of activity in Colwyn Bay around a regenerated Victoria Pier

These groundbreaking ideas, combined with the earth-shattering revelation that the bulk of tourists to the quaintly termed “non-aspirational” resorts along the Conwy and Denbighshire coastline were people with nostalgic childhood memories of the area, make us all realise why we pay consultants so much.  How anyone would have come up with these truly innovative ideas without this impressive survey escapes us completely.

But wait a minute;  did anyone read any of the local blogs? 

This survey cost a lot of money, will almost certainly not be translated into action, and apart from parroting what's been said locally for years misses crucial factors such as what makes resorts around the world so successful: novelty transport systems - trams, monorails, miniature trains; sandy beaches - Miami used have only stones, until they asked the US corps of engineers for ideas, who responded by creating a totally new, thickly sanded beach in a relatively short time;  great hotels with reasonable prices and an integrated transport policy, designed to encourage the car owner, not punish them.

Note: the above ideas are copyright, and will incur substantial charges if we re-print this page and send it into the WAG.

Now we know why Oscar calls them the Arsembly.