What's in a word?

On Oscar's blog the other day the subject turned to scrounging, prompted by an article in the egregious DFM.  In the comments, two were fairly amusing, although one was precipitated by the other:

 I wrote  "In terms of birth rate, the lower socio-economic and attainment groups are breeding happily, while the older, ambitious and career-orientated are only having 1.7 babies per couple, a pattern being repeated in most developed countries. What to do about that, however eludes pundits and politicians alike."

to which the ubiquitous Moi (Again) replied…

    "How on Earth do you have 0.7 of a baby? Surely this (generally first class) exponent of the British Language has not heard of the word "average"!"

which led to thoughts of language in general.  A great deal is assumed in written communications if the writer assumes it's perfectly clear that the (apparently obvious) meaning is absurd.  So when penning "1.7 babies" it is absurd (but nonetheless quite amusing) to imagine 0.7 of a baby, and the assumption is made by the writer that folk will automatically add in the word 'average' for themselves. 

But that's not always the case, and some of the oddest things have been written, often because the reader does not share the mental context of the writer. This often happens in technical manuals, where significant contextual awareness is assumed by the writer, and too often in instruction manuals for machinery originating in Japan.

Japan, of course, is fair game, with such wonderful instructions to car-hiring tourists as

"When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour"

or the mind-boggling invitation in Tokyo hotel rooms:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid

But perhaps the best examples of assumptions for the sake of brevity come from newspaper headlines.  The following show just how dangerous too much assuming can be:

Stiff Opposition Expected To Graveyard Plan

Car Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon

Lack Of Brains Hinders Research

Policeman Help Dog Bite Victim

Man Denies He Committed Suicide

Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop

Ban On Boxing After Death

Boy Wanted To Kill Man

Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard

Protestors Tried To Spoil Play But Actors Succeeded

30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter

and almost certainly the best

No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Victim