Sniff....

Swine 'flu cases reached the 120 mark in Conwy this week, and the new 'flu hotline in England is seeing 9,000,000 hits per hour. The nine million hits per hour probably accounts for about 1000 with 'flu, and 8,999,000 of the terminally confused. The media has to take some part of the blame for this, probably, although those gullible enough to buy the Daily Mail must asume at least some. However, we do know some incontrovertible fact about swine 'flu, which everyone should know but most seem not to. So here, for those who are in fear of their lives, is

Carneades' guide to Swine 'Flu:

1. It's 'flu, and therefore a virus, so it can't be cured.
2. It's a new virus, so most of us are going to catch it.
3. It's going to kill a whole lot of people. Why shouldn't it? Normal seasonal 'flu kills around 100 000 per year, so this ain't going to be any different.
4. If you've got it, you'll know about it. Don't ring the GP with a cold. Or a tickly cough. Or haemorrhoids. You really will know about it. Talk to anyone who had Asian 'flu (1957) or either of the two epidemics in the '60s. It's nasty. You get hot - you have a sore throat and you ache. Oh boy, do you ache. But you don't usually die.
5. There's almost nothing the GP can do for you. Oh, sure - if you develop a nasty little complication, they might admit you to hospital, but that'll only happen so long as there aren't too many catching it and getting complications. Tamiflu and Relenza are euraminidase inhibitors and don't cure the 'flu, merely shorten its duration.

And here's the clincher: there's really only one thing standing between you and the wooden box whenever you catch anything. It's not the GP, it's not the Daily Mail - it's your immune system. You carry around more germs - really nasty ones - in your throat than in your colon (look it up!). The human immune system is truly wondrous and, furthermore, it gets better with practice. If you catch swine 'flu, take lotsa fluids (no, not Scotch:-) and rest yourself up. But the hospital beds are badly needed for those with compromised immune systems, or underlying health issues, such as asthma. Don't hog the resources and let your body do its work. It's really very good at it.