Take me to your leader

Having just finished Ian Skidmore's latest offering, I am pleased to announce that aliens have definitely not landed in Llandudno or Colwyn Bay. To reassure readers I should point out that the facts for this astonishing revelation are all but self evident. After exhaustive enquiries, it's crystal clear that had they landed in Llandudno, by now they'd be sporting a parking ticket. Or an overstay ticket from a Debenhams car park warden. Furthermore, DHSS has no record of anyone further afield than Huddersfield claiming, and Venue Cymru hasn't announced "Star Wars - the Musical" ...yet. The conclusive evidence, however, has to be that no hotels are offering discounts for multi-headed arrivals, which presumably they calculate by matching legs with heads and dividing by two.

A friend of mine once said that what worried him most was that if an alien contingent arrived from some galactic-enforcement agency and warned they would destroy the planet unless we could provide a conclusive argument for the continuation of mankind as a species, we wuz finished. He, you see, couldn't see one. A reason, not an alien - although I think both apply. I wonder if we do deserve our place in the cosmos....