All change

Just about the only thing you can be sure of in life is that nothing stays the same forever.  Locally, the area in which we live has been undergoing change quite rapidly, although we've been spared the traumatic wholesale clearances often experienced by those who live in the cities.

On the web, things have been changing across the past couple of years, too, and the Llandudno Local forum's chequered past has finally been resolved through a move which sees the creation of a brand new local forum, the Three Towns forum.  Run by those who have managed the old Llandudno Local forum over the past twelve months, this new forum sees the closure of the old one, which Kindways - the Computer Repair Centre in Trinity Avenue, Llandudno - have generously hosted for over a year, and the opening of the new Three Towns project, which seeks to provide a free-to-use forum for all those on the internet in Llandudno, Colwyn Bay and Conwy.

The new forum will retain the old forum postings as an archive on the same site but will run under a simpler and more effective software system, which is widely regarded as one of the best around.

Going off the rails

It took a year, but the report about the derailment last August of the Trams on  the Orme is finally out.  And it makes worrying reading. From the report:

Immediate cause
71    The immediate cause of the collision was the lower points moving under tram 6 directing its rear into the path of tram 7 (paragraph 34 and Recommendation 1).
Causal factors
72
A causal factor was the wheel forces overcoming the tumbler’s holding force and changing the position of the points (paragraph 37 and Recommendation 1). This was a result of three factors:
l the effectiveness of the holding force on the points had reduced due to wear and degradation of the points (paragraph 46);
l the points did not have a facing point lock (paragraph 54), and l there were no procedures in place to routinely measure the condition of, or undertake remedial actions upon, the points (paragraph 56).

Perhaps the management of the tramway might care to explain why they seem to place greater emphasis on the drivers' ability to converse in Welsh then they appear to on passenger safety. 

The Great Orme Tramway  is probably the biggest attraction in Llandudno besides the Orme itself;  to ensure it maintains its tourist pulling power, there can't be any shortcuts taken with safety.

Catching the cheats

It's a truism that many blogs take an unmitigated delight in heaping derision upon the last government, and that those easily led souls also glean a lot of their information from that bastion of xenophobic bigotry and right-wing propaganda, the DFM.  But in their haste to condemn the benefit cheats and scroungers, the Tories (in particular) seem to have forgotten something: that the biggest single loss to the UK economy today doesn't emanate from benefit cheats and 'scroungers'.

In fact, there's an estimated £71 billion missing from the UK's exchequer - £71bn that's been taken by criminals from the pockets of every UK Tax payer.   That's seventy-one times the estimated fraud (£1bn) of benefits cheats, about whom the DFM gets so exercised.

So who are these criminals and why haven't they been caught? The answer is fairly simple;  they're tax dodgers.   Read on...

Working for the Public and Commercial services Union and using HM Revenue & Customs data, I estimated tax evasion in the UK to be at least £70bn a year in March 2010. Recent World Bank data on the size of the UK shadow economy suggests a slightly higher figure. In the year to March 2010 HM Revenue & Customs cut more than one in eight of its frontline staff who might tackle this issue.
Beating tax evasion and the £25bn a year UK tax avoidance industry is the best way to rebalance the government’s books. So why is no one in this government willing to embrace this issue and devote the resources to it that would create new jobs, enhance the quality of law and order in this country, uphold democracy and in the long run result in tax cuts for all honest people while maintaining essential public services we all rely on?
Richard Murphy
Director, Tax Research

Interesting stuff.  Perhaps those who roundly condemn the less fortunate in our society might look at who is really fleecing the UK econmy.

Greed and Gormlessness

The Pier pavilion site is causing a lot of consternation in Llandudno at the moment, with significant efforts being made to get something done about what has become an 18-year long eyesore on the front. A lot of myths abound but the reality is actually pretty simple.  The site owner refuses to negotiate on any plans for the site that don't involve him getting a huge amount of money based on its potential for residential planning which - as it's a conservation area - isn't going to happen.  

Over the past few years, numerous attempts have been made to get him to agree to something and - although he has professed interest at the outset - at the last minute he's pulled out and refused to meet with anyone.

Many folk think Llandudno and the WAG should take a compulsory purchase order on the site, but there's a big snag: Llandudno isn't a designated regeneration area.  The entire coast from Rhyl to Colwyn Bay is, and then from Conwy to Bangor but Llandudo's been left out.

So - because of one person's greed and the WAG's refusal to consider Llandudno as a necessary part of their regeneration strategy, the town is stuck with an eyesore that cannot but put visitors off visiting again.  Time to start lobbying the WAG, perhaps...

Be not afraid of greatness

As we slither towards the new school year and the looming A level and GCSE results' days we thought it might be a good idea to compare the most recent inspection reports of the three main English-medium secondary schools that serve the area - Ysgol John Bright, Eirias High and Ysgol Bryn Elian.

Running a comprehensive school is a complex business, but the person responsible - the Head Teacher - is paid extremely well to do the job, so it seems reasonable to expect that they take responsibility for the quality and results the school produces.

Many students will be wondering which schools do best for their sixth formers and, to those who have children, few things will matter as much as the secondary school they will eventually choose. In the past, that choice was non-existent, the Secondary being decided largely on the choice of Primary.  Things have been changing for a long time, however, and now parents can choose the secondary school they want, within reason.  To add to the local natter about what the schools are like, however, the government made it possible to see the inspection reports and it's from the 2008 and 2009 reports that this blog is taken.  

Inspection reports aren't simple things to read, so we've extracted the most pertinent aspects and shown them below.

The first thing to read is the summary. This shows the overall grade, if you like, that the inspectors have awarded the school.

Eirias: Eirias High School is a very good school which has many outstanding features.

John Bright: Ysgol John Bright is a good school with some outstanding features.

Bryn Elian: Ysgol Bryn Elian is a good school with potential

Probably the next thing to check is how they perform against all the the schools in Wales.  Inspections use a standardised scoring method to assess schools:

Grade 1 good with outstanding features
Grade 2  good features and no important shortcomings
Grade 3 good features outweigh shortcomings
Grade 4 some good features, but shortcomings in important areas
Grade 5  many important shortcomings

so that - in effect - the more 1s and 2s, the better.   So how did the three schools score on the critical Key Questions?

But the most important aspect of the inspection - and that which matters most to parents - is the assessment of the quality of teaching and learning.   Here, the inspectors mark the lessons observed against the Welsh averages using percentages. Again, they grade with 1 (Best) to 5 (worst).

Across Wales 19% of lessons get a grade 1, 57% a grade 2 and 21% grade 3.  So how did our three schools do?

From the table above, it can be seen that Eirias had a massive 41% of lessons judged as  good with outstanding features, while John Bright had 12% and Bryn Elian managed 9%.

Finally, it's always worth looking at the statements made by the inspectors about the same sorts of areas in each school.

Perhaps the most telling statement is made about how learners progress.  About Eirias, for example, the inspectors note that

"the attainment of learners shows outstanding progress when compared to their abilities on entry. They fulfil their potential and are well prepared to move on to their next stage of learning. This, too, is an outstanding achievement." 

while about John Bright they state

"The quality of guidance and support is outstanding. Teachers and support staff encourage pupils to give of their best and give very good pastoral support. The provision for pupils with special needs, and for all pupils at KS4 when preparing for external examinations, is extensive. They are well supported at this time and their progress against their targets is closely monitored."  

In Bryn Elian's report they say

"In KS4, the school has managed to address the fall in performance in 2007, producing a significantly improved set of results in 2008. The standards of attainment in GCSE in 2008 are such that they return to an improving trend established over the three years prior to 2007."

Inspection reports only offer a snapshot into the work and quality of any school.  Nonetheless, it can be seen that the main English-medium secondary  provision in Llandudno and Colwyn Bay is far above average.



  

Bite not the hand

Jason Weyman's current blog entry mentions, among other things, his expenses. Recently, a few posters on Oscar's blog have been making somewhat negative remarks about Jason and expenses and that's something which is fairly easy to do. Jason - after all - is a public figure and expects the flak along with the plaudits, even if most emanate from anon.  But it's worthwhile reading his blog, because Jason is a great deal more open about his intentions and reasons than most.  Most importantly, however, Jason is telling people what's happening - something of which - in a Council obsessed with secrecy and covert actions - many other councillors might do well to take note.

We need more like Jason Weyman.

Sick of what?

Now here's an interesting one.  Apparently, sickness and absenteeism cost  Conwy CC  (and hence all of us) over £1m last year.  Is it that stressful working at Bodlondeb?

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Hi Carneades,

  To celebrate 150 years of Britain’s most loved and outrageous couple, we’re working with Visit Llandudno to host the wedding of the century at the smallest church in the UK, St. Trillo’s Chapel in Rhos-On-Sea – Thursday 5th August at 10am.

I found your Llandudno and Colwyn Bay blog and, as someone interested in the area, I wondered if you’d like hear more about it for the blog? We’ll also be producing a short spoof wedding video, which should be really good fun – which we’d be happy to share if you’re interested.

We're waiting with baited breath for more news!

In the land of the setting sun

So just after we'd sent out the warning notices to folk warning them about the low water levels and telling them it had been the driest spring since 1929 (which it has) the good old British summer decides to revert to form.

But there's something about holidays in North Wales and the weather.  It only seems right, really, that showers, wind, hail, fog and the odd volcanic eruption should enter - stage L - to play their part in making the holiday challenging. Which is, after all, the way most UK families view their annual expeditions, anyway.

It's all very well popping off to the costa del sherry and  being done to a turn on the oceanic spit that qualifies as the hotel beach, but where's the challenge, where's the thrill in timing your post-breakfast dash for the car precisely to avoid the thunderous downpour that emerged, from a hitherto unblemished blue yonder, to attempt a rapid submersion of the youngest?  It's staying one jump ahead of the iniquitous grey drizzle that adds that something special to the average UK holiday and provides such a sense of achievement when the family, having weaved their wind-blown, drenched ways around storm showers, mini hurricanes, low clouds and tsunamis, each competing for a place in the Guinness record book under the 'biblical deluges' section, finally make it back to the hotel, having walked the two miles from where they'd had to park the car and crash onto the beds in their warm, dry bedrooms  while they watch the sun finally emerge and bathe their rain-sodden hairlines in lambent glory.

More tea, anyone?

Badgering...

There's little that does so much to raise the emotional temperature than the suggestion that slaughtering badgers is a 'good idea'.   Badgers, after all, are emotionally embedded in our national psyche, not least because of their portrayal in Wind in the Willows and various Disney animations, and those opposed to the proposed cull clearly feel incredibly strongly about the rightness of their cause.

It's a thorny issue, however, and one which the embattled cattle industry sees as decimating their herds if nothing is done. But is culling the right way forward?

The reality is that they chose a cull because badgers are easily captured and killed. Had the threat emanated from a parasitic or insect-borne contagion, then culling would have been impractical, so other avenues would have been explored, if for no other reason than culling flies is at best an awkward proposition.

This ruling does, however, focus the  minds of the WAG on the alternatives, such as vaccination. And perhaps that isn't such a bad thing.

It's not that hard

Toy Story 3 is already another massive hit for the Disney-owned Pixar studios, and people are starting to wonder if Pixar can do anything wrong.

Apple have now sold 3m iPads in 80 days and - again - there's little sign of them putting a foot wrong.

But there's a common connection between Apple, Disney and Pixar: Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs founded Apple, founded Pixar and is a senior director on the board with Disney. At the helm of the second largest company in the US, Jobs is widely respected for his innovation and leadership.

But there's not a huge secret in what Apple, Pixar or Disney do. It's one word: Quality.  Those of us who've used Apple computers for 20 years knw they're not just the best, the least likely to fail, the most secure and the most well-equipped, but they're also - to top it all - the easiest to use.

By extending quality, reliability, ease of use, and - above all - customer-friendliness in to the fields of computing and mobile communications it's not hard to see why Apple is on course to become the biggest company in the US and possibly the biggest in the world.   Perhaps local councils and hotels could learn something from them.

Freedom of Information

Making a request for information under the Freedom of Information Act seems a simple enough procedure.  But public bodies can refuse information on several grounds, which include

Section 21 - information accessible to the applicant by other means

Section 22 - information intended for future publication

Section 30 - investigations and proceedings conducted by public authorities

Section 31 - law enforcement

Section 32 - court records

Section 33 - audit functions

Section 38 - health and safety

Section 39 - environmental information

Section 40 - personal information

Section 41 - information provided in confidence

Section 42 - legal professional privilege

Section 43 - commercial interests

Section 44 -prohibitions on disclosure

However daunting that list may appear, the fact is that all pubic bodies have to supply information when asked unless they can specifically identify reasons under the above sections why they can't, when they also have to tell you why.

There are, however, no compulsions that they have to help you find out exactly what it is you don't know, so the whole process becomes something of a detective game.

To stay ahead of any potential obfuscation strategies,  FOI requests should follow some simple rules:

1. Keep it as precise as you can. Use a precise time frame and identify what it is you want to know as precisely as you can.
2. Use financial years instead of calendar years when dealing with the councils.
3. Include your full name and address.

As an example, the Maesdu Bridge is the current 'hot-potato', and we all want to know exactly why there was what appears to have been such catastrophic mismanagement of the project. In this case you need to identify which committee dealt with the original proposals, who was the project manager and why it all went belly-up. 

Let's turn back the tide of secrecy

Chris, a regular poster on this blog, sent me these two extremely pertinent comments yesterday:

Also worth saying that surely it's the five Councillors making the complaint who are much nearer to being guilty of making "vexatious, malicious or frivolous complaints" When the ombudsman rejects their claim, I hope Cllr. Jason Weyman then demands an apology - after all, Jason would have had to have made an apology, if the ruling had been against him.

On the wider case of Council's appearing to love secrecy, I agree. The reason is simple enough. No-one wants to be seen as looking daft or greedy, and so the opportunity not to (by making sure that inconvenient information doesn't get in the public domain) is irresistible. There needs to be more scrutiny of how these powers are exercised, but in an era pining for less public sector bureaucracy, this is not going to be generated by 'the system' - any such scrutiny has to come from individuals.

We agree.  We'll help this to happen by publishing a guide to making FOI requests and then reporting councils who appear to be behaving furtively and using excessive secrecy in their dealings. We also appeal for local and county councillors, who agree with this stance, to contact us to show their support.

What don't they want us to know?

When those who have a little power seek to retain that power and widen its remit, then nasty things happen.  Fellow blogger and all-round nice-guy Jason Weyman, is the subject of a complaint after members of Towyn and Kinmel Bay Town Council voted to send a complaint to the Ombudsman for Wales after he posted comments on his blog.

The comments, which came in the wake of the suspension of Kinmel Bay county councillor Geoff Corry for failing to declare personal interests and concerned a proposed town council audit, were removed two days after being posted.

At the meeting, Cllr John Bevan described the information contained in the blog as being “defamatory to the council” which reveals a rather big hole in his comprehension of the English language and the law as defamation only applies to individuals. 

Cllr Peter Worswick proposed the matter be sent to the Ombudsman for Wales, who conducts independent investigations into complaints made about the behaviour of both town and county councillors.

The motion was carried with five of the eight councillors present voting in favour. The chairman and Mayor, Cllr Ken Stone, abstained from the vote, with two voting against, so good on them.

It was also alleged Cllr Weyman had broken a section of the county council Code of Conduct, stating members of the council should “not make vexatious, malicious or frivolous complaints about anyone who works for, or on behalf of, your authority”.  Now, this is very important and we need to be clear on what its purpose is. 

This regulation is there to protect council employees and fellow councillors from nutters who say daft things without foundation to cause trouble. That's what the word "vexatious" means, while "frivolous" means lacking in seriousness, and "malicious" means their motive was simply nasty.

Jason has shown none of these qualities in his blogs.  On the contrary, he simply reports what is happening but we know that Conwy doesn't like that at all.

But hang on;  there's another interesting fact.  The last councillor reported in this way was one John Oddy - another blogger. Besides the fact that thy both run blogs, they're also both independents. Curious?

Councils thrive in the dark recesses of secrecy and delight in cloaking their activities in the shroud of 'confidentiality' but we should be asking what exactly is it that they don't want us - their paymasters - to know? What scares them so much that they feel the need to classify most of their committee meetings as 'not open'? 

We should celebrate people like Jason Weyman and  John Oddy, and we shold demand that more of these people start their own blogs and expose the goings-on for us - their paymasters - to see.  If we don't as Burke said "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Secrecy

Conwy CC is obsessed with secrecy.  They're not alone, of course, but what makes them different is that we pay their wages.

Byron Davies was temporarily relieved of his duties on Friday, 26th March, following a complaint to North Wales Police. No details of the alleged crime were revealed at the time, but Mr Davies has been suspended on full pay ever since. He has not been charged, which seems to suggest that either there's insufficient evidence or the CPS has refused to prosecute.   The delay is almost certainly down to lawyers dragging their feet, which should surprise no one.  But a three month delay between suspension and resolution is a travesty and unfair to Mr Davies.  The Police should either charge him or declare the case unsustainable.


CCBC has been silent.

The Maesdu bridge saga continues to astonish those who live in Llandudno, and someone  - almost certainly an officer in the CCBC organisation - has made what can only be described as a catastrophic mess in the budgeting, planning and project management areas, and we need to know exactly what has happened and why such a massive overrun of costs has been incurred.

CCBC has been silent.

New blog in town

 Blogs get started for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes those reasons are less than altruistic.  But the recent Mostyn ward election has ignited some interest in the form of a new blog by one of the contenders - Jason Edwards.

In his extremely well-written blog, he sets out his stall and, although he failed to get elected, this seems like someone the town would find very valuable.

His blog is here:


http://jasonedwardsllandudno.blogspot.com/

and a quick read through  leaves the impression that he values clear communication above all else - a salutary reminder for the rest of the local and Conwy Councillors, many of whom think a computer is a wooden rack fitted with little sliding beads. 

Good luck Jason - and welcome to the world of bloggers.

There's no business

The sun's being kind to us at the moment (the thermonuclear one, not the rag) and this summer looks fairly positive in term of potential visitors.
Llandudno trades relentlessly on the nostalgia factor; many of those who return - year after year - first visited when they were children, and are now reintroducing the next generation to its delights.  Trouble is, they're a vanishing commodity.  People talk fondly of Happy Valley, the Palladium, the Pier Pavilion and even places like the Old Rectory tea gardens, but these are all gone or in decline, and little new is replacing them.
Happy Valley was, of course, remembered most for the shows, and it wouldn't take a massive investment to create a basic facility that would allow for regular performances. Essentially, a concrete stage, some sort of canopy, electric points and a returning of the stepped,  tiered seating that once housed the deck chairs.  There are so many performing groups in Llandudno now, holding their own shows every week, that it would be simplicity itself to arrange a rota for interested societies to perform once a month throughout the season.

All it needs is someone with vision and enough time to see the idea through.  Any takers?

School's out

If there's one thing which is absolutely guaranteed to bring out villagers with pitchforks and hay rakes, it's the subject of primary school closures.  With numbers falling throughout the country, however, schools have to be closed, and it's easy for those no longer involved in education to dismiss the concerns of villagers as parochial and short-sighted.

But in a tiny village, the local school is much more than it seems.  It's a social resource for the entire village, for starters.  A place where people meet, gossip, exchange information, views and make arrangements.

In villages where the population is not particularly mobile, it's also more than that. It's a store house of childhood memories and experiences, which is why threatened closures evoke responses which are largely unrelated to reason and economics.

Unfortunately, given our current economic situation, doing nothing isn't an option, and as long as UK legislation demands that children be educated and that they must attend school then schools are going to have to close.

Unless these small communities start to change things. Legislation does not require all children to attend school;  it only requires that they be educated and that councils provide schools in which that can happen.  There is nothing, however, to stop parents from educating their own children at home or from taking over schools themselves and educating the children there.

Let's not pretend this is easy; it isn't, because the communities would have to fund the school themselves, they'd have to meet standards for the education they provided and they'd have to be led by someone who really knew how to deal with council officials and the department for education and learning.  But it's possible and - if communities feel as strongly about preserving their village centres as they seem to, then they should be aware that they won't be the first to go down this path.

And so it begins

The Labour government came under a lot of fire - some say rightly - for over-legislating and creating too much paperwork in many aspects of everyday life.  Now the first signs are emerging that the new coalition may be reversing the trend, but at some cost to those who most need protection.

A landlords register and new regulation of letting agents were to be introduced by the previous Labour administration but the new government has scrapped the plans.

Interestingly, the Association of Residential Letting Agents (ARLA) said cutting the plans would aid rogue landlords. Citizen's Advice also criticised the decision.

Housing Minister Grant Shapps said the sector was already governed by a well-established framework.

But renting a flat, say, is the only way many hard-working people can afford to put a roof over their heads. These people - the unmarried, childless but fully employed and extremely hard-working  - are the very people we need in the economy and we ought to be protecting their interests, if only to avoid the massive costs to the community incurred of them hitching up with someone, having ten children and then applying for benefits and housing from the local council.

Ian Potter, operations manager at ARLA, said: "A great fear is that a lot of agents who were looking at tidying up their practices will now feel they can run amok and add to the poor reputation we have at the moment."

What is particularly ironic, however, is what the Tory housing minister added. He told the BBC  the government wanted to focus instead on increasing home ownership, a rather odd aim with mortgages beyond the reach of most single workers.  Of course, the Tories will always look after those who stand to make money out of others, and those who slavishly support Tory policies should remember that their history has always been thus.

You couldn't make it up

Love 'em or loathe 'em, caravan sites and the North Wales coast have a long-standing affinity for one another. But last week, our beloved Conwy County Council decided to move against Michael Clark, the director of Golden Sands holiday park in Kinmel Bay, who readily admitted his company unlawfully put up signs on railings and on a trailer board in a pub car park.

After the case, Conwy’s head of regulatory services Phil Rafferty defended the authority.

He said: “There is a persistent problem with the display of unauthorised advertisements. We hope this successful prosecution will send a clear message to those who appear to be ignoring the law.”

Aha.  So they deliberately set out to make an example of Mr Clarke, then?  Quite apart from the dubious ethics involved, it would be interesting to see if anyone in Conwy CC can explain why they appear to have entire departments dedicated to driving away tourists. A few weeks ago, the same council decided to come down heavily on people who erected birthday banners at roundabouts.  If it was the script for a farce, you might be able to believe it, but the officers of the rudderless Conwy CC seem to have the bit between their false teeth and are charging in all directions, waging war on those whose livelihoods depend on attracting tourists.

Let's see it in perspective.  Under age drinking is serious, so presumably they've taken harsh measures against places found serving alcohol to children.  Pot holes in roads are causing thousands of pounds of damage to tax payers' cars, so presumably there's a massive effort to repair them taking place.  And of course they're ensuring that all the main roads into Llandudno leading to the beautifully maintained West Shore are open and running smoothly.

If all the above aren't happening, then how come they have time to waste mounting  expensive prosecutions against those simply trying to advertise their living?

let's see if they decide to abide by the Government's advice for full disclosure of their accounts and expenditure. And then let's see just how many of these overpaid officials we really need in these straightened times.

The council pie

The speech David Cameron gave on Monday should leave no one in any doubt that we're being softened up for the significant cuts that will be coming. The thing everyone's wondering is who is gong to suffer most.

The biggest slices of government expenditure are threefold: education, Health and Social security and - perhaps surprisingly - Local Government.

Last Friday, the government released its detailed spending figures and the fact that the 24,000,000 items of expenditure remain largely impenetrable to the average (or even, so far, the expert) should come as no surprise to anyone, given the ministerial obsession with secrecy.

It'll be interesting to see what gets cut, although Tory administrations traditionally favour jobs.  But given that Local Government represents a very large slice of the pie, perhaps stopping salaried cabinet positions might be a good way forward? Expenses - yes, they're fair enough, but what do we really get from the paid councillors around here?  Little, it seems, other than more and more secrecy.  Perhaps we need to devise some criteria for failure for their roles.

Cumbria and the media

The recent events in Cumbria have evoked the usual slurry of suggestions about banning all guns, 'lessons to be learnt' and the evergreen 'questions to be asked'.  The event itself was bad enough, but the media's craven response to this type of event remains the only constant in an otherwise depressing replay of our previous gun massacres.

The answers for dealing with anyone who is so depressed and unstable as to go around shooting people before killing themselves are fairly straightforward.  There's almost nothing you can do. This sort of thing happens - thankfully, not often, and we as a nation continue to slaughter far more per day on the roads than are ever killed by manics and maniacs.

On the 'lessons to be learnt' cliche, trotted out repeatedly by an unimaginative and time-worn media, there is only one: stay away from madmen with guns.  Otherwise ,Cameron's response was excellent.  We are long overdue a break from knee-jert reaction legislation.

What's in a million?

Some years ago thee was an article in the Times which suggested few children can grasp the concept of a million. It was, the article argued, such a massive number that the only way to try to make them see its reality was to have a board in the classroom with a million dots on.

Today's children, however, are learning in an era when a million isn't that much anymore.   A lottery winner who only scooped a million would feel hard done by; a country with a population of one million hardly qualifies as a country and how many people d'you know with a 1 Mb disc drive?  The billion has become the unit of choice, making it easy to see just how awful a mess the banks' mismanagement  has left us in, terabyte hard drives are becoming commonplace and our entire approach to thinking about quantity has changed.

All of which made it a little sad when the Torygraph fixed its sights on a leading Liberal coalition partner for a rule infringement that  - in the scheme of things - amounted to almost nothing. Of course, the DT and its owners know all about rule infringing, loopholes and bullying.

The DT is owned by the Barclay brothers, who bought the island of Brecqhou, one of the Channel Islands, located just west of Sark. Their own mock-Gothic castle on Brecqhou, designed by Quinlan Terry, features 3 ft granite walls, battlements, two swimming pools and a helicopter pad. The brothers are tax exiles, and give their address as Le Montaigne, 7 Avenue de Grande Bretagne, 98000 Monaco.
Although they make their money from the UK, they pay not one penny in income tax, which makes it rather odd that they should choose to hound those who do and those who can be seen to be infringing rules. Their respect for the democratic process is well documented.  On 11 December 2008, they were in the news for pulling out their investments (which include hotels) from the island of Sark, causing 100 staff to be made redundant (one sixth of the population) and threatening the economic stability of the island after local voters did not support candidates championed by the Barclay brothers. The brothers had previously warned that if the voters chose to bring back the 'establishment' Sark leaders that are still aligned with the feudal lord then they would pull out of Sark.

Perhaps those who so avidly devour the pages of that august organ should know more about where their money is headed.

Another Whiskey, Humpy?

The New Scientist reports that a landmark case which pushed through laws banning the drug mephedrone - popularly known as 'Miaow Miaow' - has come under strong criticism after a toxicology report of the two teenagers thought to have died from the drug showed neither had actually taken it.

"Legal high kills two teens," cried the Daily Express earlier this year. There followed a steady stream of stories in the UK media of the dangers of the then little known "legal high".

The government subsequently rushed through an emergency ban on the drug and related compounds that became law in early April. Although implicated in 27 deaths, a report by the International Centre for Drug Policy at University College London found it to be a contributing factor in just one.

Today, this knee jerk reaction came under further criticism following the negative toxicology tests. Reacting to this finding, David Nutt, chair of neuropsychopharmacology at Imperial College London, said: "If these reports are true, the previous government's rush to ban mephedrone never had any serious scientific credibility."

"This shocking news should be a salutary lesson to the tabloid journalists and prejudiced politicians who held a gun to the heads of the ACMD [Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs] and demanded that this drug should be banned, before a single autopsy had been completed," adds Colin Blakemore, professor of neuroscience at the University of Oxford. "The only good that might emerge from this fiasco is a long-overdue review of drug control policy."

When are our politicians gong to start thinking from themselves and not merely pandering to the berserk and vested interests of a heavily biased media?

A shot too far

The news that a customer fired a gun at two McDonalds' drive-through staff makes you wonder briefly if customer satisfaction in McDonalds has reached new lows.  The truth, as always, is slightly different.

Andrew Robert Hallows produced a black gun, which turned out to be an imitation bb firearm, and shot twice at the restaurant workers.
In court yesterday it was described by defending solicitor Bethan Jones as "a prank which went horribly wrong".
Hallows said that he would see how they would react when he fired at the hatch. He did not believe it would hurt anyone because it was not a powerful gun.

It's inconceivable that anyone could think that firing a replica weapon at someone in a public place could be regarded as a 'prank', but it seems there's no beginning to some people's talent.

All Stand

It's a quintessential axiom that committees both aspire to epitomise democratic procedure, whilst simultaneously impeding progress and decision-making. That's why private industry endows an executive with power to take decisions on the spot, and then face their board, where the quality of their decisions will be examined. 

In small groups, vesting power in the Executive also helps things happen quickly.  But the most significant committees for most people in Llandudno and Conwy are the town and county councils, neither of which - it seems - can take meaningful decisions rapidly, and the larger of which is still without a CEO, the newly appointed one still suspended on full pay. That in itself is a bad state of affairs, since he's entitled to either be charged or exonerated with a great deal more alacrity than shown thus far.

Town councils, however, are notorious, and Llandudno is no exception.  It was revealed today on the Llandudno local forum that significant amounts of time were expended in October last year as they deliberated over the momentous matter of when the tea break should be.

It's easy to see this sort of thing as typical small-town lunacy, but the reality is that there's no great competition for council places. Young, committed, intelligent and resourceful individuals don't want anything to do with it, and individuals like John Oddy and Jason Weyman are the exception. We need more like them, but that will only happen if the right people can be persuaded to stand.

Time to say something fast

You will no doubt have heard of the recent cases where pharmacists have refused to dispense drugs because the drugs are contrary to their religious belief. The General Pharmaceutical Council, which is replacing the existing Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain, is consulting on its code of ethics.

The proposed code of ethics enshrines such discrimination as the official ethical policy. If this offends your sense of justice, you have until 28th May to object, this coming Friday in other  words.

This is the proposed code of ethics; clause 3.4 is the offending one, although I also draw clause 3.3 to your attention.

http://tinyurl.com/234g6ub

Remember that just because a patient is referred to another provider, they may not be able to act on that advice. Not everyone has access to private transport and there may be other considerations. Further, a patient may be so embarrassed or confused that they do not attempt to find another provider. This clause dismisses the welfare of patients and panders to the abstract whims of the pharmacist.

There is an on-line consultation form

http://tinyurl.com/288n6xp

Weight there for a moment

OVER half the adult population of North Wales is overweight or obese, according to latest figures.  The Executive Director of Public Health, Andrew Jones, says "Throughout Wales 57% of the adult population is categorised as overweight or obese, with the lowest North Wales percentage  – 53% – being in Conwy and Wrexham.

The report also highlights serious drug problems in north west Wales. In 2008 in Anglesey there were 331 men admitted to hospital due to drugs, with Gwynedd second in the table on 197 and Flintshire lowest on 105.

 Anglesey also has the highest number of alcohol-related admissions to hospital among males, whilst the highest figure for hospital admission and deaths among females is in Conwy.

Now here's a thought; in their bid to reduce costs and the impressively large deficit with which the mismanagement of the banking world has landed us, might the new coalition government start to think about criteria for hospital admissions?  What would be the validity of creating categories of patients which were then ranked in order of treatment priority?

Superficially, this idea has some attractions. Making the drunk who'd fallen down the stairs wait longer than the elderly grandmother who slipped on the ice seems to have some merit.  And should the drug abuser be made to wait for their treatment until the cancer patient had finished?  And what about the habitual violent offenders, who often attack the very people trying to treat them? Should they even be given access to A & E? But there's also the obese, the smoker, the McDonalds' addict...

At a time when the new government is seeking cuts, some of these ideas may seem tempting - but at what cost?

The world's mine oyster

The news that fake bank notes with a face value of £350,000 were found stashed at converted farm buildings near Connah’s Quay makes you wonder if we should be jailing the forgers or putting them up for a Queen's award for industry.

Crime takes many forms, of course, and the temptation for the right to mutter about sentences not being long enough and throwing away keys doesn't really stand up to scrutiny, when you realise that the UK already imprisons a greater percentage of its population than any other EU country (139 per 100,000 of the national population), a statistic which places it above the mid- point in the World List - itself more than a little interesting.  The United States has the highest prison population rate in the world, some 686 per 100,000 of the national population, followed by the Cayman Islands (664), Russia (638), Belarus (554), Kazakhstan (522), Turkmenistan (489), Belize (459), Bahamas (447), Suriname (437) and Dominica (420).

But we digress. Forgery - like the audacious theft from the Paris Museum of Modern Art - isn't the easiest way to make money, although the irony isn't lost in the case of forgery. 

But perhaps what really ought to concern us is that these forgers almost certainly worked long and hard, had significant overheads, high risk factors and their only 'crime' (banknotes themselves have no intrinsic worth - they're simply promissory notes) was to dilute the overall money supply slightly.  To have a really significant effect, cause untold misery for millions, wreck entire economies and achieve lasting fame they would have had to been making perfect forgeries on a massive scale.

 Or perhaps they should simply have got themselves into banking.

Get a life

The big news today is that several Americans have managed to create a self-replicating form of life from synthetic DNA. As news goes, this event is perhaps more significant than most, but at the moment the chance of you creating your favourite pet out of a box of supermarket cleaning fluids and cornflakes is still a fair distance away.

Creating life is nothing new, of course; would-be parents do it all the time, but what's interesting about this achievement is that people weren't used and part of the DNA is synthetic. And it joins a list of discoveries and advances in Biology which include cloning, human genome mapping and freeze-dried spam to compete for the best theory of abiogenesis.

Of course, the media will soon start muttering about scientists 'playing God' and those who don't really understand what's happened (that's most of them) will start painting dark pictures of what might happen if this synthetic life escapes the confines of the laboratory. And, as with genetically modified crops and insects, or recombinant DNA experiments, the consequences of getting it wrong don't really bear thinking about. As one worrying example, imagine a virus being created that attacked grass.

But we've always pushed the boundaries of what's possible, and scientists have always tried to comprehend why things happen. And, if creating life synthetically becomes routinely practicable, then perhaps we could introduce some into the next CCBC meeting.

The new Government in video

No news is Purdah

If you were wondering why news seemed to stop during the last days of the general election, it's because of a little-known convention known as 'Election Purdah'. Applied by and to the civil service, it states:

"It is customary for Ministers to observe discretion in initiating any new action of a continuing or long-term character. Decisions on matters of policy and other issues such as large and/or contentious procurement contracts on which a new Government might be expected to want the opportunity to take a different view from the present Government should be postponed until after the Election, provided that postponement would not be detrimental to the national interest or wasteful of public money."

Essentially,  there's a news blackout about on-going issues and potential initiatives, which is why the Afghan war received little mention in the final week. It carries no force in law,  but is widely viewed as having a moral imperative.

Of great import

As we forge towards a bright new political world, it's encouraging to know that CCBC has its mind firmly focussed on the things that matter.

Their attention has been caught by ‘Happy Birthday’ banners and other signs which the public put up without permission.

A Conwy Council spokesman sagely observed: “Unauthorised adverts, such as events’ banners, birthday banners and business signs are becoming more widespread, but many people don’t realise that such displays are a criminal offence. If adverts affect highway safety, and if they’re put on safety railings for example, they can be removed and the matter may result in prosecution.”

However, Sean Martins, from Llandudno Junction said: “It’s a pretty Orwellian thing to do. What about signs for candidates in gardens and fields during the General Election?”, which is a good point.  Presumably, bearing in mind the gravity of the situation, immediate prosecutions will be launched against all the candidates who dared to allow their supporters to erect signs.

Well, at least we know where to make some savings come the inevitable fiscal crunch. In the Conwy Council's planning department might be a good start.

Who reads the papers?

Yes but you don't go...

Sung to the tune of 'When the Foeman Bares his Steel' from the Pirates of Penzance.

Nick Clegg.

When the foeman bares his steel,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara!

Nick Clegg.

We uncomfortable feel,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
And we find the wisest thing,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara!

Nick Clegg.

Is to slap our chests and sing,.
Tarantara! tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
For when threatened with emeutes,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
And your heart is in your boots,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
There is nothing brings it round
Like the trumpet’s martial sound,
Like the trumpet’s martial sound
Nick Clegg & The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara!

Nick Clegg & Vince Cable 

Tarantara! tarantara!
Tarantara! tarantara!
Tarantara! tarantara!
Tarantara! tarantara!
Tarantara! tarantara!
Tarantara, ra, ra,
Tarantara!
Ra, ra, ra, ra,
Ra, ra, ra, ra,
Ra, ra, ra, ra,
Ra, ra, ra, ra,
Ra, ra, ra, ra,
Tarantara, ra, ra,
Tarantara!



David Cameron
Go, ye heroes, go to glory,
Though you die in combat gory,
Ye shall live in song and story.
Go to immortality!
Go to death, and go to slaughter;
Die, and every Cornish daughter
With her tears your grave shall water.
Go, ye heroes, go and die!

Conservative front bench
Go, ye heroes, go and die!Go, ye heroes, go and die!

Nick Clegg.
Though to us it’s evident,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
These attentions are well meant,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
Such expressions don’t appear,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
Calculated men to cheer,
The Brown Family.
Tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
Who are going to meet their fate
In a highly nervous state.
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara! tarantara!
Nick Clegg.
Still to us it’s evident
These attentions are well meant.
The Brown Family.
Tarantara! tarantara! tarantara!

The voters
Go and do your best endeavour,
And before all links we sever,
We will say farewell for ever.
Go to glory and the grave!
Conservative front bench
Go to glory and the grave!
For your foes are fierce and ruthless,
False, unmerciful, and truthless;
Young and tender, old and toothless,
All in vain their mercy crave.



Nick Clegg.
We observe too great a stress,
On the risks that on us press,
And of reference a lack
To our chance of coming back.
Still, perhaps it would be wise
Not to carp or criticise,
For it’s very evident
These attentions are well meant.
The Brown Family.
Yes, it’s very evident
These attentions are well meant,
Evident,
Yes, well meant;
Evident,
Nick Clegg & The Brown Family.
Ah, yes, well meant!


Conservative front bench                              The Brown Family.

Go, ye heroes                                                     When the foeman 

                 Go to  glory!                                                   bears his steel, Taranta-
        Ye shall,    live in                                                      ra! tarantara! We un-
               story. Go to death and                                           comfortable feel.    And

go to  slaughter; Die, and                                                  find the wisest thing, every every Cornish Daughter                                               Taranta ra! tarantara! Is to

With her tears your grave shall                                 slap our chests and sing

Tarantara

For when threatened with emutes, Taranta-
ra! tarantara! And your
heart is in your boots,Taranta-

 There is
nothing brings it round, Like the
trumpet's martial sound, Like the
trumpet's martial sound, 

David Cameron
Conservative front bench

Away, away!

 The Brown Family.
 Yes, yes, we go!

David Cameron
These pirates slay!

 The Brown Family.
 Tarantara!

David Cameron
Then do not stay!

  The Brown Family.
Tarantara!

David Cameron
Then why this delay!

   The Brown Family.
 All right, we go! 
Yes forward
 Yes, forward on the foe,
on the foe, Yes, forward on the foe,

David Cameron
Yes, but you don't go!

   The Brown Family.   

They go, they go! We go, we go!
 Yes forward
Yes, forward on the foe,
on the foe, Yes, forward on the foe,

David Cameron
Yes, but you don't go!


   The Brown Family.  
At last we go,
We go, we go,

David Cameron
At last they go, at last they go!
We go, we go,

At last they really, really go!

The Brown Family.
We go, we go, we go, we go!

91-a Brita Kongreso de Esperanto Llandudno

Thanks to Bill Chapman for letting us know that Llandudno's hosting the 91st British Esperanto conference at the Imperial hotel from 14 - 17th May. Based around the Latin languages Esperanto soon found itself superseded by the ubiquity of English as the international language but it still commands a loyal following of those who like to keep their intellect limber and their vocal skills current.  And they're a welcoming crowd, so both they and the Imperial will welcome visitors.

Bonan tagon al vi!

Chill in the air

This article from the Independent is a good indicator of what we - as a nation face - if the Tories sweep in:

In 2006, a group of rebranded "compassionate Conservatives" beat Labour for control of Hammersmith and Fulham Council, a long stretch of west London. George Osborne says the work they have done since then will be a "model" for a new Conservative government, while Cameron has singled them out as a council he is especially "proud" of.

People who took this at face value were startled by the first act of the Conservatives on assuming power – a crackdown on the homeless. They immediately sold off 12 homeless shelters, handing them to large property developers. The horrified charity Crisis was offered premises by the BBC to house the abandoned in a shelter over the Christmas period at least. The council refused permission. They said the homeless were a "law and order issue", and a shelter would attract undesirables to the area. With this in mind, they changed the rules so that the homeless had to "prove" to a sceptical bureaucracy that they had nowhere else to go – and if they failed, they were turned away.
We know where this ended. A young woman – let's called her Jane Phillips, because she wants to remain anonymous – turned up at the council's emergency housing office one night, sobbing and shaking. She was eight months pregnant. She explained she was being beaten up by her boyfriend and had finally fled because she was frightened for her unborn child. The council said they would "investigate" her situation to find "proof of homelessness" – but she told them she had nowhere to go while they carried it out. By law, they were required to provide her with emergency shelter. They refused. They suggested she try to find a flat on the private market.

For four nights, she slept in the local park, on the floor. She is still traumatised by the memories of lying, pregnant and abandoned, in one of the wealthiest parts of Europe. The Local Government Ombudsman investigated but the council recording of the case was so poor she said it "hindered" her report. After a long study, she found the council's conduct amounted to "maladministration". Since they came to power, the Conservatives are housing half as many homeless people as Labour – even though the recession has caused a surge in homelessness. That's a huge number of Janes lying in parks, or on rotting mattresses by Hammersmith Bridge.

Why would they do this? The Conservative administration was determined to shrink the size of the state and cut taxes as an end in itself. Rather than pay for it by taking more from the people in the borough with the most money, they slashed services for the broke and the broken first. After the homeless, they turned to help for the disabled. In their 2006 manifesto, the local Conservatives had given a cast-iron guarantee: "A Conservative council will not reintroduce home-care charging". It was a totemic symbol of leaving behind Thatcherism: they wouldn't charge the disabled, the mentally ill or the elderly for the care they needed just to survive.

Within three months, the promise was broken. Debbie Domb, 51, is a teacher who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1994. She had to give up work, and now she needs 24/7 care. After being lifted up by a large metal harness and placed in her wheelchair so she can talk to me, she explains: "This was always such a great place to live if you were disabled. You were really treated well. Then this new council was elected and it's been so frightening... The first thing that happened when they came in was that they announced any disabled person they assessed as having 'lower moderate' needs was totally cut off. So people who needed help having a shower, or getting dressed, had that lifeline taken away completely. Then they started sending the rest of us bills."

She "panicked" when a bill came through saying she had to pay £12.50 for every hour of care she needed. "I thought, 'Oh my God, how am I going to do this?' The more care you need, the higher your bill, so the most disabled people got the highest charges. Everyone was distraught. I had friends who had to choose between having the heating on in winter and paying for their care ... I know a 90-year-old woman with macular degeneration who can't see, and she had to stop her services. There are lots of people who have been left to rot, with nobody checking any more that they're OK, and I'm sure some of them have ended up in hospital or have died." One of the council's senior social services managers seems to have confirmed this, warning in a leaked memo that the charges could place the vulnerable "at risk".

She added " I know an 82-year-old woman who's never been in debt in her life who is being taken to a debt-collection agency for care she needs just to keep going."

Each year since the Conservative council was elected, the pressure on the housebound has increased. Meals on Wheels brings one good, hot meal a day to people who can't get out. The council jacked up the charges for it by £527 a year – so half of the recipients had to cancel it. A local Labour councillor documented that the council rang up a 79-year-old woman with dementia, and when she seemed to say she didn't need any food, they cut off her meals.

The cost of almost all council services has sky-rocketed, to fund tax cuts that disproportionately benefit the wealthy. David Cameron says he wants to make Britain "the most family-friendly country in the world" with "childcare as a top priority", but his showcase council has increased charges for childcare by a reported 121 per cent – a fact that makes the warnings about Michael Gove's planned "top-up fees" for nursery places seem even more ominous.

We know cuts are going to be made, and they're going to hurt.  But the stark choice that faces us as voters is deciding where the axe should fall. This council has decided it should cut off the most vulnerable of society - those with dementia, MS, the abused, the homeless.  But most of all, it has made a deliberate choice to protect the wealthy and punish the poor. 

Cameron said: "When I look at the record of what the Conservatives have done here in Hammersmith and Fulham, far from being embarrassed as the Conservative leader, I'm proud of what they're doing."

Going, going...

Gordon Brown didn't 'lose' the debates (despite winning several of the arguments) because he's bad on TV: he lost, to put it bluntly, because some voters dislike him so much that they stop listening when they see him.
So the question for Labour's upper echelons isn't why they got suckered into a debate. It's why they sleepwalked into an election with a leader they knew was unpopular, ducking every chance to replace him.

This comment from the Guardian demonstrates rather neatly why GB won't be walking into No 10 on Friday, and why New Labour have lost the confidence of the electorate. In the new, all-consuming, Endemol-inspired reality show that is the 2010 General election, he's about to be the first housemate given the boot.  

For the past two years, Labour leaders have known Brown was an electoral disaster waiting to happen. From his strange little facial habit, to his unutterably boring drone, the real surprise is why his own party haven't lynched him long ago. Because they knew just how bad he was.

The surprisingly engaging Cameron and the astute Clegg, along with his fearsomely brilliant wing-man, Cable, however, ought to be streets in front.  But they're not. The well-organised and detailed polling being undertaken reveals that more than 40% of voters still haven't decided who they're going to vote for, which means there's everything to fight for.

In the UK, we elect a local, personal representative - not a party - but the reality-TV style of this year's election, coupled with the unparalleled ubiquitousness of broadcast media means we're actually being persuaded that we're voting for one man. And that's working against the least likeable.

There's a reason New Labour slaughtered everyone in sight all those years ago.  Tony Blair.  But that party's failure do do anything about the man who has the same effect on voters as a large dose of Vallium means a lot will be joining the dole queue very shortly.

Unless, of course, someone pulls off a master-stroke and they get rid of GB before Thursday.  Now there's a thought…

Please, let it all end

Probably the most telling comment in the election thus far was made by Nick Clegg when he told a haranguing questioner "You should go into politics!".

A lot of people forget that politicians are simply applicants in a hugely overcrowded labour market.  Unlike normal job applicants they have to apply to us - the general public - for a job, and we decide which candidate gets a five year contact of employment.

And that's where any involvement from their employer ends. Unlike the rest of the working population, once employed they set their own salaries, their own expenses claims, their own hours of work, their own pension schemes, their own perks, their own holidays - the list just goes on and on.

What is perhaps most astonishing is that we happily concur in the scheduling and operation of this most lucrative of gravy trains, which often end with dismissals in five years' time, but retention of pension rights, lucrative positions on boards and utterly hagiographic publications of their cash-driven existences.

Is it any wonder that most people still have no idea what or even whether they're going to vote?

The other way

One of the advantages - some say the only advantage - in a general election month is that everything else stops happening. The saturation coverage of elections manages to marginalise almost everything else that's still going on, and only the apposite intervention  of a volcano provides any relief from the otherwise wall-to-wall, excruciating monotony only merciless dissection of minutiae can provide.

So, in the true, boring-you-to death-about-the-election spirit, here're some interesting facts: the UK is one of only a few governments to use the first-past-the-post voting system, or 'Plurality' voting system.

 If more than two parties with substantial support contest a constituency, as is typical in Canada, India and the UK, a candidate does not have to get anything like 50 per cent of the votes to win, so a majority of votes are "lost".

Dividing a nation into bite-sized chunks for an election is itself a fraught business that invites other distortions, too. A party can win outright by being only marginally ahead of its competitors in most electoral divisions. In the UK general election in 2005, the ruling Labour party won 55 per cent of the seats on just 35 per cent of the total votes. If a party is slightly ahead in a bare majority of electoral divisions but a long way behind in others, they can win even if a competitor gets more votes overall - as happened most notoriously in recent history in the US presidential election of 2000, when George W. Bush narrowly defeated Al Gore.

The anomalies of a plurality voting system can be more subtle, though, as mathematician Donald Saari at the University of California, Irvine, showed. Suppose 15 people are asked to rank their liking for milk (M), beer (B), or wine (W). Six rank them M-W-B, five B-W-M, and four W-B-M. In a plurality system where only first preferences count, the outcome is simple: milk wins with 40 per cent of the vote, followed by beer, with wine trailing in last.

So do voters actually prefer milk? Not a bit of it. Nine voters prefer beer to milk, and nine prefer wine to milk - clear majorities in both cases. Meanwhile, 10 people prefer wine to beer. By pairing off all these preferences, we see the truly preferred order to be W-B-M - the exact reverse of what the voting system produced. In fact Saari showed that given a set of voter preferences you can design a system that produces any result you desire.

So there you have it.  All voting systems are notoriously flawed, doomed to failure and inevitably lead to the wrong party and candidates being elected.

But all this overlooks one simple fact: we don't need MPs at all.  The country functions perfectly well during their lengthy summer breaks, bank holidays and other times when the house isn't in session. That's because the executive minds the shop and generally follows established protocols. It's true MPs were needed years ago, because asking everyone's opinion on every issue was impossible. But a lot has changed, even in ten years. It's now technically achievable and thus perfectly feasible for everyone in the UK to vote when asked on a law.  The internet has made that possible.  That means anyone could put together a law they liked, submit via the internet to the public, who could then vote and pass it into law. 

Of course, you'd need some sort of organisational committee structure, but the members of that could be elected in the same way, and dismissed just as easily.

Wonder why our MPs like to keep things the way they are…

Hung by their lanyards

The question of a hung (or balanced) parliament came up on Any Questions last Friday, and predictably both the Labour and the Conservative panel member asserted that it would lead to unstable and economically disastrous coalition government. Here's a remarkably frank observation from a Danish friend: Obviously they would say that, but I suspect they actually believe it too. Do they never look at other countries? To the best of my knowledge, Denmark has not in my lifetime had anything other than coalition government - no party has had an overall majority in that time that I can recall. Yet I hardly think anyone would seriously suggest that Denmark is less prosperous or less well-governed than the UK. We've had very stable government for many, many years; our per capita GDP ($55,942) is the fifth highest in the world (after Luxembourg, Norway, Qatar and Switzerland). The Uk ($35,728) comes in 21st place. If Britain is so different, and if coalition really would be disastrous, what does that say about British politicians and their regard for the wishes of the electorate?

Cool, man

The Times today carries an article by Dominic Lawson, in which he attributes the 'climate of fear' engendered over any scientific issue as created by  those largely to blame––the tabloid newspapers, the means by which scientists who aspire to a high public profile can achieve notoriety (just so long as they are prepared to indulge in some unprofessional exaggeration).

There might be some truth in what he alleges, as we slide towards an ever more risk-free society, but he would do well to remember that when the government ignores the advice of its own scientists, which it is doing in the case of the drugs advisory council, then responsibility for the consequences in terms of society rests entirely with those who make the laws.

Wonder if any of the current band of politicos will have the courage to suggest legalisation of cannabis?

Sorry?

Ten reasons why Nick Clegg is Britain's Barack Obama

Revealed: the uncanny similarities in the lives and political DNA of Nick Hussein Clegg and Barack William Paul Obama

Is Nick Clegg the British Barack Obama? Photograph: Steve Caplin

"Clegg's ... against-the-odds message of change is energizing young voters and has the British press comparing him to President Obama."
Washington Post, 22 April 2010.
So what do Nick Clegg and Barack Obama have in common?

1. Both men have exotic middle names

Obama: Hussein
Clegg: William Paul

2. Both men had to defeat political giants to win party leadership

Obama: Hillary Clinton
Clegg: Chris Huhne

3. Both men grew up in a minor island overshadowed by major continent

Obama: Hawaii
Clegg: Britain

4. Both men troubled by smears and rumours

Obama: Secretly born in Kenya
Clegg: Secretly bought Ikea cake tin

5. Both men published inspirational works of literature

Obama: Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
Clegg: Learning From Europe: Lessons in Education

6. Both men achieved notable 'firsts'

Obama: First African American president
Clegg: First party leader from Chalfont St Giles

7. Both men favour cutting-edge television drama

Obama: Likes The Wire
Clegg: Likes Morecambe and Wise

8. Both men admit to past dabbling with strong substances

Obama: "Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it."
Clegg: "Peanut butter – I'm an addict! I will go to great lengths to find some if it is not actually readily available."

9. Both men are associated with prestigious accolades

Obama: Won 2009 Nobel peace prize
Clegg: Made video for 2008 British curry awards

10. Both men inspired by charismatic spiritual leaders

Obama: Rev Jeremiah Wright
Clegg: Paddy Ashdown

Taken from the Guardian unlimited, today.

Since 1945...

How the papers say

Another report, anyone?

The results of a doubtless extremely expensive and 'radical' survey into the sometimes parlous state of the North Wales coast are in and contain a number of truly astonishing suggestions, never before made.  These include

 - landscaping and screening off caravan parks to “reduce their visual impact”
- a new waterside experience and destination focused around Rhyl’s former funfair site at Ocean Beach and Foryd Harbour
- Colwyn Bay’s Eirias Park becoming a major focus for events
- A new focus of activity in Colwyn Bay around a regenerated Victoria Pier

These groundbreaking ideas, combined with the earth-shattering revelation that the bulk of tourists to the quaintly termed “non-aspirational” resorts along the Conwy and Denbighshire coastline were people with nostalgic childhood memories of the area, make us all realise why we pay consultants so much.  How anyone would have come up with these truly innovative ideas without this impressive survey escapes us completely.

But wait a minute;  did anyone read any of the local blogs? 

This survey cost a lot of money, will almost certainly not be translated into action, and apart from parroting what's been said locally for years misses crucial factors such as what makes resorts around the world so successful: novelty transport systems - trams, monorails, miniature trains; sandy beaches - Miami used have only stones, until they asked the US corps of engineers for ideas, who responded by creating a totally new, thickly sanded beach in a relatively short time;  great hotels with reasonable prices and an integrated transport policy, designed to encourage the car owner, not punish them.

Note: the above ideas are copyright, and will incur substantial charges if we re-print this page and send it into the WAG.

Now we know why Oscar calls them the Arsembly.

Makes you wonder

From the Guardian:

I doubt if Rupert Murdoch watched the election debate last week. His focus is very firmly on the United States, especially his resurgent Wall Street Journal. But if he did, there would have been one man totally unknown to him. One man utterly beyond the tentacles of any of his family, his editors or his advisers. That man is Nick Clegg.
Make no mistake, if the Liberal Democrats actually won the election – or held the balance of power – it would be the first time in decades that Murdoch was locked out of British politics. In so many ways, a vote for the Lib Dems is a vote against Murdoch and the media elite.

I can say this with some authority because in my five years editing the Sun I did not once meet a Lib Dem leader, even though I met Tony Blair, William Hague and Iain Duncan Smith on countless occasions. (Full disclosure: I have since met Nick Clegg.)

Full story here

Spots on

Iceland is a wonderful place. From their awesome scenery, with volcanoes around almost every corner, and glaciers scrunching their way towards the sea, to their predisposition towards every conceivable type of fish prepared in almost every conceivable way, their minuscule population, most of which is centred in the capital, to their world-class symphony orchestra, drawn from a total population a third the size of Cardiff's, Iceland is a place where life and death, art and science are sharply juxtaposed.

We'd probably panic somewhat, if Snowdon starting erupting, particularly as Snowdon isn't volcanic, but that's a minor matter. But Icelanders?  They pack sandwiches, warm clothes and a thermos and go out to have a picnic and watch the eruptions.

And they're a delightful, warm, pragmatic and highly educated people, whose command of English would put many a native speaker to shame. Their volcanoes also erupt quite frequently, which poses the question as to why we don't remember all this trouble with ash before.  The answer, as the lyricist would say, is blowing in the wind.

For a few months we've been in the grip of an odd weather pattern, which is doing nothing to blow all the ash away from us.  This time of the year we'd normally be watching the spring flowers decimated by the traditional spring storms, gales, deluges of rain and overcast skies.  Now - none of it. This, apparently, may be down to sunspots, the lack of which is possibly going to cause a few years of colder than average winters, which is doubtless good news for the energy industry, kids whose schools have to close and ski retailers. Sunspots are not, as they may sound, a solar form of acne, although the current state of the sun does suggest that it's had the galactic equivalent of Clearasil applied. They are an indicator of the sun's activity, and, although it's been getting more active for the past 400 years, it's now started to become less active - a trend which is likely to continue for the next 100 years. But hey! Let's look on the bright side.  At least we won't have to worry about that air-conditioning for a while.

One down...

For those with an insatiable electioneering appetite:

The first election debate in 15 seconds....

What's in a word?

On Oscar's blog the other day the subject turned to scrounging, prompted by an article in the egregious DFM.  In the comments, two were fairly amusing, although one was precipitated by the other:

 I wrote  "In terms of birth rate, the lower socio-economic and attainment groups are breeding happily, while the older, ambitious and career-orientated are only having 1.7 babies per couple, a pattern being repeated in most developed countries. What to do about that, however eludes pundits and politicians alike."

to which the ubiquitous Moi (Again) replied…

    "How on Earth do you have 0.7 of a baby? Surely this (generally first class) exponent of the British Language has not heard of the word "average"!"

which led to thoughts of language in general.  A great deal is assumed in written communications if the writer assumes it's perfectly clear that the (apparently obvious) meaning is absurd.  So when penning "1.7 babies" it is absurd (but nonetheless quite amusing) to imagine 0.7 of a baby, and the assumption is made by the writer that folk will automatically add in the word 'average' for themselves. 

But that's not always the case, and some of the oddest things have been written, often because the reader does not share the mental context of the writer. This often happens in technical manuals, where significant contextual awareness is assumed by the writer, and too often in instruction manuals for machinery originating in Japan.

Japan, of course, is fair game, with such wonderful instructions to car-hiring tourists as

"When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour"

or the mind-boggling invitation in Tokyo hotel rooms:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid

But perhaps the best examples of assumptions for the sake of brevity come from newspaper headlines.  The following show just how dangerous too much assuming can be:

Stiff Opposition Expected To Graveyard Plan

Car Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon

Lack Of Brains Hinders Research

Policeman Help Dog Bite Victim

Man Denies He Committed Suicide

Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop

Ban On Boxing After Death

Boy Wanted To Kill Man

Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard

Protestors Tried To Spoil Play But Actors Succeeded

30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter

and almost certainly the best

No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Victim